Im sorry that u'll have to take the brunt of my anger, hope u will understand. I just cannot take this burden anymore, im so tired from years and years of this mental and physical torture. Thankyou for letting me speak my mind.
Why, sometimes i just dont understand why?
Why do you always have to put me down as one of your own Why do you always think that everything through your eyes is right Why do you think life is 1+1 = 2 alll the time Why do i need to be awaken in the middle of the night because you are drunk and shouting because of such a wreck you are Why do i need to protect and hide my belongings the night before i fly just so that they would stay intact Why do you have to make me loose all my relatives so that i wont have anyone close that i can turn to Why do you want me to have things go through you but than in the end i get negative feedback whatever it is, dont u understand that it what puts us all off from always telling you things Why do you put your anger and unhappiness ofthe past on me, let it out on me Why do you always think that there's only one way or the highway Why do u always think that i only know how to sqaunder money Why do you blame that we think of you that way when i have to call the police to find you when you are drunk Why do you have to talk about me to her without the door closed just so wanting me to hear when you can just say it to me? Why do you always have to think that ive always been a burden to you Why do you blame me for being in an international school Why do you not think about whether your actions have been mentally handicapping Why do you always want to make my life as difficult taking away things from me knowing that they are precious to me Why do you always want me to prove my existance isnt a waste of your money Why would you think that its in my best interest when you hear me sobbing Why do you think that even curing my sicknesses are a waste of your money Why do you always hurl personal attacks at me to vent your anger Why do you not understand that my health is detiorating mostly because of the stress that you give me why do you have to always make me be in such difficult positions when you ask me to carry out things when there are so many things in consideration. the house, moving, my life, my emotions are affected why as someone that has lived on this earth for decades not think about you are responsible for the consequences that you have brought upon yourself today. nobody but you Why are you such hard hearted why do i have to sit on my seat and jump when you shout, dont u know that i feel really scared why do havbe to put up with you throwing my stuff away and having food on the floor because you had a bad day. Why do you never think how much hurt you have caused me Why do you think that dictatorship actually works when ur world is falling apart Why are you never proud of me Why dont you have control over your life sometimes instead of blaming. "The apple never falls far from the tree"
i really want to scream and cry and do that all over again loud. but i cant. I cant do that infront of you or else i will be deemed by ungrateful and get alot more hell. so all i can do is to keep it all inside of me, so i cant sleep at night and my heart beats so fast because im just so angry that i keep on being put down, telling myself that because im not patient enough and you are someone that i cannot rebut because yo uare always right. please treat me as someone who has feelings and noone owes you the world. I want to get out of the army and not be enlisted.
I have so much hatred that i need to let it out to save myself from insanity. I want to be free from this, i just got better from having the stress pushed out from me. Instead of healing me you are putting me down again. Im so upset its eating me alive through all these years. Please let me heal from this, please i beg you.
Love Nic
love nicole
1/24/2008 10:01:00 PM
the missy*
Nicole MOster
Currently employed by MontBlanc Boutique Melbourne
Graduated from the University of Queensland Business Management majoring in International Business.
my hearts*
Love.Elegance.Scents.Florals.
My charms.
Globetrotting around the world.
My babes and hunks
Smelling nice.
Soufflé, all French Desserts, fresh bread, Japanses cuisine
My homes HongKong, Australia
Orchids, Roses, Edelweiss, Peonies
SOund of Music, Pirates of the Carribean
Bunnies bunnies bunnies
Cuddly Forever Friends bears big and small
To Paris with him.
my crosses*
People who always have their head up in the clouds.
Plain meaness from the heart.
Currently.....*
Reading - Eckhart Tolle - A New Earth
my dreams*
Graduate
A ticket to globetrott Paris, France,Greek Islands, Europe with him
Elsa Peretti Letter cursive "n" pendent. Heart lock charms
Bang & Olufsen Speakers
An personalised photo Anya Hindmarch bag
Paiget G33U0036, G38U1900
Damier canvas Azur Alexandra wallet
small ring agenda in damier canvas or Ivoire epi leather
Eugenie Wallet in Ivoire Epi Leather
Speedy 30 in Damier Canvas in Azur
L'OCCITANE's shea butter and almond range
Lladró Porcelain
La Maison Goyard bags and diaries, passport holder in white print The allure brown K800i
